Friday, July 6, 2012

It's been 2 months? What?!

I knew it had been a little while since I blogged but I didn't realize exactly HOW long it had been. I'm shocked that April was the last time I posted! It just doesn't feel like it's been that long. I guess when you're busy, time flies. A few things have changed lately. I work four days a week now, coming in around nine every morning and leaving at around five. I get one day a week off with Barrett and I am so glad that I decided to do that. I wanted to start it quite a few months back but I had to convince Ty and myself that I could take off work. I finally realized that yeah, work is important but Barrett is far more important. He'll be five years old before I know it and I'd regret not taking time away from work to spend time with him. I'd actually like to take off more time from work to hang out with him but for now, I need to work. He's doing really well in daycare. He adores his teachers, specifically Ne-Ne (Ms. Pam). I dread the day that we have to move up classes again but I know it will be soon. I know the teachers in that class will be good too but he's really comfortable in his current class.

Barrett is growing like a weed. Barrett is now about 3 feet tall and weighs 32 pounds. He's a big ol' boy :). He's the tallest kid in his class and actually pretty thin. He can say probably around 50 words now and has recently started saying two to three word phrases. He still has trouble with the pronunciation of some words but he's doing great trying. He goes to bed between 8 and 10 every night and usually wakes up between 7 and 9. He loves his sleep! He actually fights me in the mornings, when I get him out of his crib ;). He is definitely his mother's child! Barrett will be two years old in late November, which I'm kind of sad about. When he turns two, we plan on weaning him from the pacifier, start potty training, and wean him from the two bottles he gets a day. He gets 8 ounces of warm milk in the morning and 8 ounces at night. He is in LOVE with his bottle. I have gotten so much crap for him still taking a bottle. Last time I checked though, I am his mother and only me or Ty have the authority to decide when he will stop taking it. There are so many more things that I am concerned about besides him taking a bottle. I'm just glad that he's getting 16 ounces of whole milk a day. He isn't crazy about milk out of the bottle so he probably wouldn't drink over 4 ounces of milk in a sippy cup. Anyways, he is such a good child. He behaves well for me most of the time and is the most loving boy I have ever met. He is constantly coming up to me to give me a hug or kiss. He says "huck" for hug. It's so sweet the way he accentuates words. He makes to sure to get the "L" sound out clearly when he says "Lilly". I could go on and on about the cute things Barrett does but I won't bore you all with that, haha.

My life has been crazy busy lately. I work all day, then pickup Barrett from daycare and head home. Then, I either cook dinner or we go to a restaurant for dinner. We are usually finished eating by 7 or 7:30. Then, we try to settle down and get Barrett ready for bed. He gets a bath every other night. His Eczema gets really bad if we give baths every night. I rock him and he gets his bottle before he gets in his crib. Sometimes, he'll fall asleep in my arms and sometimes, we'll lay him in his bed awake and he'll go to sleep on his own. He doesn't mind either way! I have no intention of changing his bed to a toddler bed anytime really soon. He wakes up multiple times during the night, just to toss around. If he were to wake up and see that he could get out of bed, he would. I'd then be awakened every night by a little boy playing with his toys in the playroom. I like my sleep too much for that. Anyways, after Barrett is in bed, I do housework which includes laundry, dishes, or cleaning. There's ALWAYS something that needs to be done. I try to atleast get 30 minutes of free time to spend with Ty. It's normally around midnight before I'm done with everything. I get up around 6:30 during the week. It takes me about two hours to get myself and Barrett ready, and get out the door. I get him to daycare around 8:45 and I head to work.

We had a good Fourth of July. We literally did nothing during the day. I got to hang out with my favorite little boy, watching movies and cuddling. That night, we went over a friends' house for dinner and to chill. We had a good time but had to get home fairly early since the next day was a work day. We got Barrett put to bed and I took care of my laundry. I was finished with everything so I got an orange to eat and went to bed. I realized when I got in my bedroom that I hadn't seen Lilly, our dog, in a few hours. I looked under my bed and she wasn't there so I looked at the chair and a half in the living room but she wasn't there either. She is always in the living room or in our bedroom so I started getting worried. I yelled for her and said she could have a treat which always works. Shockingly, she didn't come running. Then, I figured that maybe Ty had forgotten to let her in the back door so I ran and opened the door, yelling for her and she was nowhere in the back yard. We do have a fenced-in back yard, incase you're thinking we're crazy for letting our dog run loose in the backyard. Anyways, I panic and Ty and I run around the house, checking every corner, etc. and don't see her anywhere! It was an awful feeling, thinking that maybe she got under the fence and is in a field somewhere lost. I had so many thoughts running through my head because I had NO IDEA how she could have gotten out of the house. We had already checked Barrett's room while he slept but we had not checked his closet. We went in and I saw a little nose sticking out from the closet door. I opened the closet door and she came running out, as if she had been trapped. I was so happy that she wasn't gone! Barrett's closet door doesn't clasp shut. His doors simply push up against the trim and the wind sometimes opens them an inch or so. I guess Lilly didn't think she could open the doors. I'm thinking that she ran in his closet when I was dressing Barrett in there, after his bath. A neighbor shot some fireworks as I was finishing and I think that's when she ran in the closet. Bless her heart :(.

Ty and I have a big event tomorrow. It's our fifth anniversary! I love him now more than I ever have before. He is such a loving husband and caring father. I just adore him. Of course, we have our hard times but a marriage isn't healthy if there aren't any disagreements. I can't believe that we work together too. Not only do we work together, our desks are butted up against eachother, where I'm facing his left cheek, probably 5 feet away from his face. I've grown to enjoy working with him and wouldn't have it any different. He has given me the best gift I could imagine...Barrett. I hope everyone has a great weekend! I know I will!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Just an update

Wow, I feel like it's been forever since I've blogged! Obviously, not much has been going on in my life, ha ha. I went to Atlanta for my nephew's birthday about a month ago. Then, about 3 weeks ago, I had Strep Throat which turned into some weird sickness. My neck hurt so bad that I couldn't move it. I had a headache with it and fever too. This all lasted for about 2 weeks. I went to the doctor and they couldn't figure out what it was. I was given a shot of Penicillin, a shot of Rocephin, and 10 days of Amoxicillin but none of it helped. I'm guessing it was viral. Thank goodness it finally went away because it was absolutely horrible. Towards the end of it, I was getting depressed from having to lay around so much. I'm not the kind of person that enjoys taking off of work and being lazy at home. I prefer to be busy during the week. It's just natural to me. I intended on going to church today but Barrett work us up sick this morning. So, I slept late and cleaned house for almost 6 hours. It was so dirty and needed a good scrubbin'. Of course, Barrett helped me clean know...getting the dirty Clorox wipes out of the garbage can, picking up the toilet wand by the dirty end...that kind of help ;).

Barrett learns something new every day now it seems. His most recent thing is learning to call me "Ashlie". I can't help but laugh when he does it though. He says it like, "Atty". He's been able to say "momma" for a while now but has never really called for me in a room, saying "momma". He started last night by bringing something to me, saying "Atty". Then today, he did it multiple times as he was "helping" me clean. I correct him every time and tell him to call me "momma" and he will but the next time, it's like I never told him, ha ha. Oh well...he's still young. He says a ton of words now. He'll say, "Lilly" and it's the cutest thing. He says his L's so pronunciated! He doesn't make the "w" sound for L's like most toddlers do. He learned the word "apple" and "open" around the same time. The problem is that he doesn't hear the difference in the words or he just doesn't know how to say "open" correctly. When he wants something opened, he says "apple". He also says "apple" when he sees an actual apple. The same with "dog" and "door". The other day, I told him to close the door. He went and pointed to Lilly and said "dog". It's so funny. I tell him the difference every time but it's not soaking in. That's OK though! I'm beyond proud of him for knowing such a large vocabulary. He says, "duck, dog, apple, water, bottle, blanket, paci, shoes, socks, mouth, nose, eyes" and tons of other words. He's really good at repeating people's names too.

I'm just so proud of him. He was a little behind on some developmental things between 9 and 12 months so I was a little worried he'd always be behind on things. Obviously, he's just fine. He's so sweet too. He gives the best hugs and kisses. He's not crazy about giving hugs anymore but after I ask him a few times, he'll give in :p.

I've changed up my schedule in the past month. I work 9 to 5 now instead of 12 to 5. It's been a change for sure! I get up around 6:00 am and get myself ready. Then, I get Barrett up around 7:30 and get him ready. After he's dressed, I feed him breakfast. Then, if I have extra time, I play with him for a little bit. I have him at daycare around 8:45 and then I head to work. I am loving the new routine! I am definitely a person that needs a schedule in her life. It's good for me. It has proved tiring though. I get off of work at 5, pickup B from daycare, then head home, getting there around 5:30. I do all of the housework, so that consumes a lot of my evenings. We start getting Barrett ready for bed around 7:30 or 8:00 pm. He gets a bath every other night (having eczema, a bath every night would dry his skin out too bad). He gets a bottle of warm milk, then I rock him for a little bit and put him to bed by 8:30. I try to get in bed by 10:00 pm lately. Obviously, I'm making an exception tonight. I guess I slept too late this morning because I'm not really sleepy :/

Speaking of being sleepy, I need to at least get in the bed. Six o'clock is going to come sooner than I realize! I hope everyone has a great week! Good night.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Turning Over a New Leaf

I've wanted to do this for a long time but haven't had the determination to even TRY it. I haven't taken care of my body since Ty and I got married and especially since I've had Barrett, sixteen months ago. I was looking through my employee file at work, a few weeks ago, and noticed that on my application, I wrote that I was 117 pounds. On a side note, I'm not sure why I was asked how much I weigh on a job application, but the point is that I'm nowhere near 117 pounds anymore and haven't been in a very long time.
I got married in July 2007. Before getting married, I could literally eat what I wanted, when I wanted, and never gain a pound. That completely changed after getting married. I guess you get comfortable and sit around your house more...I don't really know. I put on about ten pounds just from getting married. I wasn't too worried because I was still in the normal weight range for my height. Then, I was lucky enough to leave my job at Regions Bank in December 2007 and go to work with Ty at my in-law's business, working with Medicare to help customers get durable medical equipment. It was a wonderful change but a hard one. I had always had jobs where I HAD to report to work at a certain time and couldn't leave when I wanted nor do what I wanted. Before my current job, I had always had a boss that I feared, in a way. However, at my in-law's business, I had much more freedom. As long as my work was done, I could come and go as I please. I am practically able to do what I want. It sounds fabulous to most people and honestly it is. BUT...there is no structure and I NEED structure to stay in order.
In February 2008, I went on a trip with my husband, his grandparents, aunt, uncle, and two cousins to Keystone, Colorado. I don't like flying, keep in mind, nor do I like cold weather or mountains. But, I thought I'd give it a shot. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?! I might not have fun? Oh well, that would be OK. I would survive and return home a week later. After about 24 hours of being there, I started developing physical feelings that I couldn't quite describe like nausea, shortness of breath, upset stomach, headaches, and light-headedness. We all assumed maybe I was lacking oxygen which is common when you go to high elevations. So, I went to a grocery store and purchased some $40 oxygen and tried that for a day. I continued to feel horrible so we made a trip to a doctor there, to see what was going on. They said my pulse and blood pressure were up but that my oxygen level was excellent so that definitely wasn't my problem. I was diagnosed with a "bug". The next morning, I started feeling panicky feelings but at the time, didn't really know what panic attacks and anxiety were, since I had never really had problems with that before. That night, the whole family went to eat at a restaurant and I had a horrible panic attack, while there. I went outside, crying, and called my mom. I told her that I was terrified to fly, especially by myself, but that I was going to buy a ticket first thing, back to Memphis, and I wanted her to pick me up at the airport ASAP. As a side note, we had driven to Memphis from Jackson, flown directly into Denver (about a 2.5 hour flight), then driven to Keystone, which was about an hour or an hour and a half drive through insanely steep and snowy mountains. I told Ty about my plans when we got back to the hotel that night and he told me that he understood if that's what I had to do but really wished I would at least give it another day and see how it goes. I did and decided to just grin and bear it through the rest of the trip, because I didn't want to leave my husband. I think it was a little worse that we stayed in a hotel versus a condo because I was cooped up in one room for about seven days straight. I was so "sick" that I couldn't go skiing or anything. During that time, Ty and his family spent most of every day out skiing, so I was basically by myself. I did leave the room one day, to go shopping but ended up having to leave after thirty minutes, because I felt like I was going to pass out. I didn't realize that I was doing myself more harm than good at the time, by keeping myself couped up in the room. They had AMAZING shops in the area and I hate I missed out on everything.
Anyways, we got home and carried on as normal the following week. I had an appointment at the optometrist to get fitted for contacts but little did I know, that appointment would change everything. I had a VERY rude employee trying to fit me for contacts and we just couldn't find any that felt right to me. She had such an attitude with me that I started getting nervous and rushed. I eventually had to leave because of feeling anxious, nauseous, and lightheaded. I had this never-ending feeling of doom that was indescribable. I went home, thinking I was just sick with a bug or something but ended up hyperventilating and calling Ty to come get me and take me to the ER. I honestly thought I was having a heart attack or something. After a couple of visits to different doctors and going through a few tests, I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder. I was started on Lexapro, an anti-depressant and finally started feeling better. But in the process, I also gained forty pounds. I have had the hardest time getting it off, since. I got pregnant in March 2010 and gained around fifty pounds. I gave birth to Barrett in November 2010 and lost sixty pounds in the first six weeks of giving birth. I suffered from postpartum depression severely for those six weeks (the reason for the extreme weight-loss) and finally decided to get on Zoloft, a different anti-depressant. Of course, I then gained back about ten of those pounds and have gained and lost, since.
I had gotten to where I just didn't care anymore but I'm now at the point where I have GOT to get my body back in shape. I don't mean just lose weight but an overall makeover of my health, my attitude, and my life in general. I'm 28 years old but don't feel like it. I feel like a 60 year old some days. My joints hurt. My blood pressure is high some days. I have elevated blood sugar at time. I'm always tired and have no energy. It's just ridiculous. This week, I've been working on about four hours of sleep a night. Wednesday morning, I was really shaky and felt like I needed to throw up. I laid back down for about two hours and felt so much better when I woke up. I guess that was my body's way of saying that I needed to get more rest...and exercise for that matter.
So, I have decided that I really want to re-vamp myself. I know I'm not going to be perfect at it and some days are going to seem hopeless but I want to at least put forth the effort. I want to feel like a 28 year old again, or even better, a twenty year old! Wish me luck, everyone! Day one is tomorrow.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Top 10 Reasons Why I'm NOT the Perfect Mother

Today, I ran across a blog that listed some reasons as to why the blogger wasn't the perfect mother and a few reasons as to why she could be considered the perfect mother. She encouraged readers to write their own blogs, each listing their reasons for not being the perfect mother and their reasons for being considered the perfect mother. I thought I'd give it a shot, since I related to her blog so well. So, here goes nothing.

My Top 10 Reasons Why I'm Not the Perfect Mother:

10. Barrett wasn't on a daily routine until he was a year old. He never wanted to do things at the same time every day and I just wasn't dedicated enough to force it on him. He ate when he was hungry, slept when he was sleepy, and played when he was playful. He just recently decided he wanted to do these things at around the same time every day. We survived before this new decision though.

9. If Barrett is for some reason in pain, I give him Tylenol or Advil. He even took prescription pain medication after he had surgery a couple of months ago. I don't want my baby in pain, when there is treatment available.

8. We took Barrett to O'Charley's when he was one week old. Some doctors suggest that you not take your baby out of the house until a certain age but we were too stir-crazy to stay in the house. In fact, he wasn't sick a single time until he was three months old. Not even with the common cold.

7. We didn't force tummy time. We attempted putting Barrett on his stomach for tummy time about twice. He screamed bloody murder each time. We just didn't push it after that. Yeah, I'm sure he would've gotten used to it but why force it? He's walking and talking up a storm now so I don't think him missing tummy time as an infant affected his development.

6. Barrett isn't always wearing a coat or something covering his ears when it's cold outside. We're lucky to get anywhere on time so putting on a coat just takes more time. Not to mention, it's usually simply forgotten because we're always in such a rush. He's survived so far. Yes, he's had about five ear infections but I think he'll make it. I've had quite a few pediatricians tell me that it's a myth anyways, that wind causes ear infections. Who knows if it's true but I'll go with it!

5. Barrett has been allowed to eat straight off of restaurant tables before, without me wiping it down with a disinfectant wipe first...GASP! I mean, how did kids make it a hundred years ago, with all of the germs floating around, and no disinfectants?! I have no idea, really.

4. I feed Barrett quite a few boxed and pre-made meals for lunch or dinner. Ty and I get off of work at 5:00 then I go pickup Barrett from daycare. That leaves us getting home around 5:30, which is when Barrett's ready to eat. Yeah, I probably have enough time to make a full-course meal and have it on the table in thirty minutes to an hour but I just don't want to. So, Barrett gets Gerber ravioli or some other pasta out of the box a lot of times and Dole carrots or green beans out of the can. Both are microwaved, though so at least it's warm. He also gets fresh grapes or bananas a lot of the time, so give me a little credit! ;)

3. Barrett is an avid television-watcher. I've read things about children shouldn't watch television before the age of two. Yeah, we can forget about that one. I have stuff I need to get done. After I get home from work, fix Barrett's dinner, and occasionally fix dinner for Ty and myself, I have loads of laundry and dishes to do. That doesn't include the other randoms like cleaning house, etc. Mickey Mouse and Elmo have been life-savers, I must admit.

2. I did not breastfeed. That statement alone makes me enough of a non-perfect mother. When people hear that I didn't breastfeed, they assume that I wasn't physically able to. For example, Barrett wouldn't latch or my milk didn't come in. No people...I didn't WANT to breastfeed. I had zero desire to. It just wasn't for me. When some people hear that, I get a whole different reaction, LOL. It's sad that some people don't realize that people in this world are different for a reason and allowed to have their own views and do their own things.

1. Barrett goes to daycare and I have not once felt guilty for it. I am actually relieved at times to be able to have a break from everything "baby". I went back to work when Barrett was two weeks old, working about ten hours a week. I HAD to get out of the house or I would have gone insane. Eventually, I realized that I wasn't getting anything done, taking him to work with me, so I enrolled him in Mother's Day Out at Englewood, which was Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:00 to 2:30. Ty's mother kept him on Wednesdays, from 9:00 to 5:00 and still does. I was then working about 25-30 hours a week, as I would take him to work with me on Mondays and Fridays. Once again, I realized that I needed a little more help. So, I enrolled Barrett in daycare at West Jackson when he was five months old. I have to pay for full time but he only goes from around 10:00 to 5:15 Monday through Friday, except for Wednesdays, when Ty's mom keeps him all day. I love how our schedule is now and it has worked out great for all of us. Ty gets the help he needs at work, since I'm his assistant. I'm able to get "adult time" and make some extra money in the process. Barrett has made lots of friends and has exceeded my expectations from having such excellent teachers and being around other children his age. It's essential in a child's development to be around other children.

Top 5 Reasons Why I Could Be the Perfect Mother:

5. Barrett slept in his bassinet from the time of birth to four weeks old. He started sleeping in his crib at four weeks old and has for the most part, since.

4. We do not let Barrett sleep in the bed with us on a regular basis. He did sleep with Ty and I, in our bed, when he was six months old, for about a month. It was the worst decision we could have made. I will NEVER forget how horrific it was to get him back to sleeping in his crib. Barrett would wake up around 3:00 in the morning, crying. We would get him out of his crib, put him in our's, and he would sleep until 8:00 am. After only about two nights of doing this, he was set in that routine. He would wake up at 3:00 am, cry, and he KNEW we would come get him out of his crib and put him in our bed. It is sweet that he wanted to sleep with us but we eventually got to the point where none of us were getting good quality sleep. It took about a week of letting Barrett "cry-it-out" at 3:00 am (sometimes crying as long as 45 minutes) to get him back into the routine of sleeping in his crib through the night. It's hard to decide whether there's something really wrong with him, causing him to cry. We eventually learned which cry was serious and which was for attention. There have only been a handful of times when he cried in the middle of the night and he actually needed something. Yes, I love him and hate to see him cry but it's best for all of us when he sleeps in his crib. He has grown to LOVE sleeping in his crib. For the past 6 months, we have been able to lay him down in his crib awake, and he falls asleep within twenty minutes, not making a peep.

3. I didn't allow Barrett to have crib bumpers, stuffed animals, or blankets in his crib until he was nine months old. This is partially because of my fear of SIDS. I was so worried about him suffocating in the first month that he was alive, that I would wake up every thirty minutes and have to lean over and look at him, then have a hard time falling back to sleep because I was terrified. At the time, I was putting a blanket on him and tucking it underneath him. But at around a month old, he was able to shift around and he was in his crib by himself. I decided that if I took off the crib bumpers and didn't allow any blankets or anything else in his crib for that matter, that it would practically be impossible for him to suffocate. I'm sure it's always possible, even with nothing in their crib, but doing this would eliminate my fear atleast. And it did. I began sleeping normal and obviously, he was fine. I always made sure to dress him temperature-appropriate and we never had a problem with him being cold or hot. I invested in a velour-like crib sheet that helped a ton when it was cold outside.

2. We waited until Barrett was six months old to start infant cereal and baby food. We attempted infant cereal when he was four months old but his gag reflex was still going strong. When we tried again at six months, he was ready because it went down so easy and he hardly ever gagged. We waited until he was one year old to start whole milk and eggs. Supposedly, children are less prone to allergy problems if you wait until these particular ages to start certain foods. We still have not tried peanuts or seafood. I have nephews with severe allergy problems so I'm going to do everything in my power to not pass off this family trait to my son. I feel like they're going to have allergies if it's in their DNA but it won't hurt to postpone certain things, when they don't have a huge benefit. I basically just used Barrett as a guide to when he was ready for certain textrues/tastes. He'll definitely tell me if he's not ready for something.

1. I have child-proofed alot of my house, putting locks on the cabinets and plugs in the electric outlets. Not EVERYTHING in my house is child-proofed though. There are some cabinets that don't have locks. We locked mainly the ones with cleaners, medications, or with little items that he could swallow. Most exposed electric outlets have a plug in them.

So, I have ten reasons why I'm NOT the perfect mother and five reasons why I could be the perfect mother. You can weigh those results and see where I qualify ;). Obviously, I am not a perfect mother and yes I have guilt for doing some of the things that you are not "supposed" to do but all I can do is take it day by day. Being a mother is the hardest job in the world but is definitely the most rewarding. I am proud of my imperfections. In a society where we are obsessed with competition, this was a great reminder. No matter how hard we try, or how often we compare ourselves to others, no mother is perfect. Not my own mother, not my friends, not my relatives, not readers of this blog, and CERTAINLY not I. I applaud anyone else that is able to admit their flaws as mothers (and fathers too) but you're also able to give yourself credit for doing things "by the book"! However, who's to say what's right and wrong? When it comes to your child, only you are the judge of that.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

The Terrible Ones

I haven't blogged in a few weeks because I've been really busy. People have asked, "what have you been busy with" and I don't really have an answer, ha ha. I think "the terrible ones" should be my answer, if there is one. Barrett is such a good boy...really, he is. He's just in a funk lately and it's taking a toll on the whole house. For the past two weeks, he's whined and cried pretty much 24/7. He literally has this monotone whine that he does all the time now and it has just about driven Ty and I insane. Ty has always been so patient and handles stressful times with Barrett so well. I can tell that he's even getting impatient at this point. Unfortunately, I wasn't blessed with ANY patience so I'm struggling with this one bad.

Barrett's cutting a few teeth and has an ear infection so I know he's not feeling well. That along with his newly defiant attitude has made for some unpleasant times lately. I guess I just didn't expect this until he was two. You know, you hear, "the terrible twos," not "the terrible ones". He wants what he can't have. He wants to do anything other than what he's currently doing. He wants to be held one second and not the next. He refuses to eat certain foods. He's constantly sleepy, which is a new one. He goes to the doctor for his fifteen month checkup in a couple of weeks so I'm going to ask about it then. He sleeps twelve hours a night and takes around a two hour nap a day. We probably need to adjust his sleep schedule and break it up in a way that he's getting two naps a day. I'm dreading that process though :/.

When Barrett turned a year old, we cut down his bottles to just one eight ounce bottle in the morning and one eight ounce bottle at bedtime and he did fine with that. But here lately, he's become obsessed with his bottles. He'll walk around the house crying for his "ba-ba" and it's just pitiful. I don't want to take steps backwards though, so I'm sticking to my guns and only giving him two a day. In the next few months, we have to cut back to one and then none so this is just the beginning. It's just been difficult lately because I feel like I'm spending more time disciplining him than I am having fun with him. I'm hoping that we'll at least get a little break after he cuts these teeth and gets rid of this ear infection.

As far as his development goes, he's still not walking on his own. He walks behind things like his Mickey truck and dinosaur walker and knows how to turn them to make circles through our kitchen, living room, and hallway. He says a lot of words now. He knows how to color with crayons. He can operate the TV remote and light switches. He weighs 28 pounds.

He's moving up rooms again at daycare this Monday, which I'm really excited about. Supposedly, there's a mother dying to get her child into his old class because she starts work Monday and there wasn't a spot open. They said that they felt developmentally, it was time for Barrett to move up anyways. At first, I was hesitant but after meeting the teachers, I'm beyond thrilled. They seem like what he needs, to boost him to the next level. They do art in his new classroom which I'm excited about. They also no longer eat in highchairs. I visited Friday and was beyond surprised to see how well-behaved the children were, while eating lunch. There were about eight 14-24 month old kids sitting at this long, short table with little bitty chairs. Each child was sitting straight-forward in their chair and eating their food with such good manners. I'm nervous to see how Barrett tolerates this on Monday but I'm sure he'll get adjusted. I think it will be good for him and might help with the problems we're having right now. In the class he was in, they didn't do a whole lot of interacting with the children as far as activities go. They were there to feed the children, give them their naps, change their diapers, and keep them safe. The children played together but that was the most interaction they got. In his new class, they teach them sign language and do crafts every day. My little boy is growing up so fast :*(.

Anyways, I'm going to get off of this computer and watch Courageous with Ty. We are in desperate need of alone time since all of this stuff with Barrett, so we take advantage of the time when he's sleeping. Just say a prayer for us, please! I have got to learn how to be patient. Everyone have a great week!

***I appreciate no drama becoming from this post. Please and thank you ;)***

Thursday, January 12, 2012

You have to watch what you say...

Lately, I've dealt with a bit of drama and I don't like it. To make a long story short, about a month ago, I wrote some stuff on my blog about work that was slightly inappropriate. It wasn't about a specific customer. It really wasn't about a customer of our's at all. It wasn't mean nor did I use any foul language. It was just a little rude, I guess, which could potentially give our business a bad name. I definitely don't want to do that. I love our customers and want to help them in any way possible. At the time, I didn't think anything about what I wrote and still don't really see much wrong with the content but at the same time, I respect other people's opinions when they say that I went a little too far. Anyways, some nameless people told a nameless person I'm fairly close to, about what I had written and from there, it was made to be a bigger deal than it actually was. I still haven't and probably won't ever get complete details of what was said about me nor will I ever be told exactly who started this nonsense but that's OK.

Last night, I actually opened that particular blog post and deleted the inappropriate paragraph, just to save myself additional drama related to this subject. I just haven't had to deal with this kind of stuff since I was in high school. I especially wouldn't expect it from women that are twenty to thirty years older than me. I've gone ahead and deleted a select few people off of my Facebook to at least decrease my chances of any foolishness from these people again. The comments about me and my blog got so silly that the fact that I post my blogs late at night (usually around midnight) and write three to four paragraphs in one blog, was made into a big deal. Gasp (said sarcastically)! I'm not sure what's wrong with writing late at night and writing four paragraphs in one post. I tend to have my highest potential late at night. I actually made my blog private last night but it was going to be a huge pain for people to read it, while it was private. When it's private, a new link has to be emailed to each person, every time you have a new post. Then, they have to click on the link I emailed them, to be able to read my blog. I have no idea who all reads my blogs. I know a select few people that do read my blogs regularly though. Tonight, I decided it would be easier to just leave my blog public and monitor how I word things and what content I blog about.

As I've said in a previous post, I use my blog as a way to express my feelings. It's similar to people that use paperback journals at home to document their feelings. I choose a blog over a journal because with a blog, people can relate to my situations and how I'm feeling. They give such helpful advice and encouragement. I love being able to relate to others and them being able to relate to me. I know some people have negative opinions about blogs, which they are entitled to. For example, I've heard some people say it's a way of bragging and putting your whole life out there. Of course, it's a way of bragging for some people! It's not for me though. I recall talking about my son's circumcision in my last blog post...Am I bragging about that?! Obviously not. I received emails from two of my Facebook friends that made me feel much better about the situation, so I'm glad I made that blog post. One person had even gone through the same problem herself.

Speaking of people giving advice, I truely appreciate any of you that have given me feedback and some of you even helping me through really hard times. I remember about a month after giving birth to Barrett, I was in such a deep dark hole of anxiety and depression. It wasn't just the baby was severe Postpartum Depression, beyond measure. It was one of the most joyful times in my life and also the most miserable. I recall in December 2010, writing a blog post about how anxious and depressed I was. What's even worse is you feel so bad about yourself for feeling that way after being given this precious baby from God that I had hoped and prayed for for so long. But unfortunately, it's the way some women's bodies and brains handle the hormone changes after birth. Within an hour of sharing that blog post on Facebook, I had so many people email me, text me, and call me, saying they were praying for me, telling me they cared about me, and alot of you even told me your stories of how you got through similar situations. Again, I thank all of you that were there for me. It really meant alot.

Anyways, I've got to go to bed...It's 12:33am!!! Haha. I'm a night-owl. What can I say?! Good night and I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Mine's going to be busy!

P.S. Say a special prayer for my best friend, Audrey. She was due this past Tuesday with her first little boy, Austin, so she's now three days past-due. I know she's uncomfortable and so ready to meet this sweet man.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012 :(

Straight to the point...Barrett was circumcised when he was one day old. It was a "conservative" circumcision as a handful of doctors have described it, even though we wanted a normal circumcision. I haven't wanted to intervene medically since then because: A) We have consulted at least five doctors (a few pediatricians) and they all agreed that I shouldn't get it fixed because it was only cosmetic, B) I can't stand to put my son through pain if it's unnecessary, C) It has caused no bodily harm, and D) I was told that it would look completely normal after he went through puberty. I've had a lot of people nag me about getting it corrected but Ty and myself would carry the life-long guilt, if something were to go wrong during the procedure. So, Ty and I always decided against it. Until now, it has been simply cosmetic anyways.

Well, we had something medically wrong happen a few days ago so I took Barrett to Convenient Care. I'm not going to go into detail with "what" went wrong. There are just some things that I keep private, sorry. Anyways, the doctor referred me to a urologist at Jackson Clinic and we had that appointment today. I'm beyond relieved to hear the doctor doesn't think it's anything serious but he does want to do surgery, which was my ultimate fear. The whole thing just terrifies me. It's going to KILL me to stand there and watch Barrett be put to sleep using anesthesia. I'm sure many tears will be shed that day, haha. The appointment is scheduled for January 17th at 11:00 am. The doctor said it should only take about ten to twenty minutes so it's not that bad. It's ten to twenty minutes longer than I'd like, but that's OK. He said that if this current situation had not come up, he would not want to operate but with all considerations, it's better to do it sooner than later.

On a positive note, I had such a good time with Barrett today! We had his doctor's appointment then went to lunch with my mom (Granny) and Steve (Doo-Dah). Then, we did a little shopping, got my car cleaned, did a little more shopping, visited daddy at work for a bit, then came home and spent a little time just playing in the floor together. After Ty got home from work, the three of us went to dinner. So, today's been a great day for sure! Barrett went to bed like a pro tonight again. I laid him in his crib at 9:30 and he just laid there, not making a peep. It took him about ten minutes of rolling around with his stuffed animals and blankets, for him to actually fall asleep. I just love my mini best friend!

On a totally different note, I may have to make my blog private soon, sorry. I'm still trying to decide. I figured I would make it viewable only to people that have Google accounts and request to follow my blog. I really hate to do that so I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Blogging is not a way for me to start drama. It's not my purpose to brag or show off. I never mean to send off a negative message in any way. It has just recently come to my attention that subjects from my blog are being passed onto others, in a different form, carrying a different report. To be honest, I'm not quite sure how this happens or why, but it obviously does. I use my blog as an outlet. I know some people don't believe in broadcasting their life over a blog but I'm not some people. I'm Ashlie. I don't really feel like I broadcast my entire life anyways. Trust me...there are TONS of things that I would never EVER put on here for everyone to see. I do keep a lot of things private. I always read through my blogs a handful of times before posting them, to make sure I don't mind any and every one reading it, because that's always a possibility. Some people use an old-fashioned pen and paper as their outlet. Some people don't use anything as an outlet. Some people use blogs. I'm a blogger and that's OK. If you do come back one day and see that it's private, you are welcome to add me on Google and you are more than welcome to read away!

Now, back to Barrett's upcoming procedure. If everyone will just keep Ty, Barrett, and myself in your prayers on January 17th, we would be much appreciative! I pray that Barrett does great with the procedure and heals quickly! I also pray that he does wonderful with the anesthesia and doesn't suffer from any side effects. I pray that I can make it through the procedure without losing my mind :/. I pray that Ty is blessed with lots of patience that day.

I hope everyone has a great rest of the week!