Top 10 Reasons Why I'm NOT the Perfect Mother

Today, I ran across a blog that listed some reasons as to why the blogger wasn't the perfect mother and a few reasons as to why she could be considered the perfect mother. She encouraged readers to write their own blogs, each listing their reasons for not being the perfect mother and their reasons for being considered the perfect mother. I thought I'd give it a shot, since I related to her blog so well. So, here goes nothing.

My Top 10 Reasons Why I'm Not the Perfect Mother:

10. Barrett wasn't on a daily routine until he was a year old. He never wanted to do things at the same time every day and I just wasn't dedicated enough to force it on him. He ate when he was hungry, slept when he was sleepy, and played when he was playful. He just recently decided he wanted to do these things at around the same time every day. We survived before this new decision though.

9. If Barrett is for some reason in pain, I give him Tylenol or Advil. He even took prescription pain medication after he had surgery a couple of months ago. I don't want my baby in pain, when there is treatment available.

8. We took Barrett to O'Charley's when he was one week old. Some doctors suggest that you not take your baby out of the house until a certain age but we were too stir-crazy to stay in the house. In fact, he wasn't sick a single time until he was three months old. Not even with the common cold.

7. We didn't force tummy time. We attempted putting Barrett on his stomach for tummy time about twice. He screamed bloody murder each time. We just didn't push it after that. Yeah, I'm sure he would've gotten used to it but why force it? He's walking and talking up a storm now so I don't think him missing tummy time as an infant affected his development.

6. Barrett isn't always wearing a coat or something covering his ears when it's cold outside. We're lucky to get anywhere on time so putting on a coat just takes more time. Not to mention, it's usually simply forgotten because we're always in such a rush. He's survived so far. Yes, he's had about five ear infections but I think he'll make it. I've had quite a few pediatricians tell me that it's a myth anyways, that wind causes ear infections. Who knows if it's true but I'll go with it!

5. Barrett has been allowed to eat straight off of restaurant tables before, without me wiping it down with a disinfectant wipe first...GASP! I mean, how did kids make it a hundred years ago, with all of the germs floating around, and no disinfectants?! I have no idea, really.

4. I feed Barrett quite a few boxed and pre-made meals for lunch or dinner. Ty and I get off of work at 5:00 then I go pickup Barrett from daycare. That leaves us getting home around 5:30, which is when Barrett's ready to eat. Yeah, I probably have enough time to make a full-course meal and have it on the table in thirty minutes to an hour but I just don't want to. So, Barrett gets Gerber ravioli or some other pasta out of the box a lot of times and Dole carrots or green beans out of the can. Both are microwaved, though so at least it's warm. He also gets fresh grapes or bananas a lot of the time, so give me a little credit! ;)

3. Barrett is an avid television-watcher. I've read things about children shouldn't watch television before the age of two. Yeah, we can forget about that one. I have stuff I need to get done. After I get home from work, fix Barrett's dinner, and occasionally fix dinner for Ty and myself, I have loads of laundry and dishes to do. That doesn't include the other randoms like cleaning house, etc. Mickey Mouse and Elmo have been life-savers, I must admit.

2. I did not breastfeed. That statement alone makes me enough of a non-perfect mother. When people hear that I didn't breastfeed, they assume that I wasn't physically able to. For example, Barrett wouldn't latch or my milk didn't come in. No people...I didn't WANT to breastfeed. I had zero desire to. It just wasn't for me. When some people hear that, I get a whole different reaction, LOL. It's sad that some people don't realize that people in this world are different for a reason and allowed to have their own views and do their own things.

1. Barrett goes to daycare and I have not once felt guilty for it. I am actually relieved at times to be able to have a break from everything "baby". I went back to work when Barrett was two weeks old, working about ten hours a week. I HAD to get out of the house or I would have gone insane. Eventually, I realized that I wasn't getting anything done, taking him to work with me, so I enrolled him in Mother's Day Out at Englewood, which was Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:00 to 2:30. Ty's mother kept him on Wednesdays, from 9:00 to 5:00 and still does. I was then working about 25-30 hours a week, as I would take him to work with me on Mondays and Fridays. Once again, I realized that I needed a little more help. So, I enrolled Barrett in daycare at West Jackson when he was five months old. I have to pay for full time but he only goes from around 10:00 to 5:15 Monday through Friday, except for Wednesdays, when Ty's mom keeps him all day. I love how our schedule is now and it has worked out great for all of us. Ty gets the help he needs at work, since I'm his assistant. I'm able to get "adult time" and make some extra money in the process. Barrett has made lots of friends and has exceeded my expectations from having such excellent teachers and being around other children his age. It's essential in a child's development to be around other children.

Top 5 Reasons Why I Could Be the Perfect Mother:

5. Barrett slept in his bassinet from the time of birth to four weeks old. He started sleeping in his crib at four weeks old and has for the most part, since.

4. We do not let Barrett sleep in the bed with us on a regular basis. He did sleep with Ty and I, in our bed, when he was six months old, for about a month. It was the worst decision we could have made. I will NEVER forget how horrific it was to get him back to sleeping in his crib. Barrett would wake up around 3:00 in the morning, crying. We would get him out of his crib, put him in our's, and he would sleep until 8:00 am. After only about two nights of doing this, he was set in that routine. He would wake up at 3:00 am, cry, and he KNEW we would come get him out of his crib and put him in our bed. It is sweet that he wanted to sleep with us but we eventually got to the point where none of us were getting good quality sleep. It took about a week of letting Barrett "cry-it-out" at 3:00 am (sometimes crying as long as 45 minutes) to get him back into the routine of sleeping in his crib through the night. It's hard to decide whether there's something really wrong with him, causing him to cry. We eventually learned which cry was serious and which was for attention. There have only been a handful of times when he cried in the middle of the night and he actually needed something. Yes, I love him and hate to see him cry but it's best for all of us when he sleeps in his crib. He has grown to LOVE sleeping in his crib. For the past 6 months, we have been able to lay him down in his crib awake, and he falls asleep within twenty minutes, not making a peep.

3. I didn't allow Barrett to have crib bumpers, stuffed animals, or blankets in his crib until he was nine months old. This is partially because of my fear of SIDS. I was so worried about him suffocating in the first month that he was alive, that I would wake up every thirty minutes and have to lean over and look at him, then have a hard time falling back to sleep because I was terrified. At the time, I was putting a blanket on him and tucking it underneath him. But at around a month old, he was able to shift around and he was in his crib by himself. I decided that if I took off the crib bumpers and didn't allow any blankets or anything else in his crib for that matter, that it would practically be impossible for him to suffocate. I'm sure it's always possible, even with nothing in their crib, but doing this would eliminate my fear atleast. And it did. I began sleeping normal and obviously, he was fine. I always made sure to dress him temperature-appropriate and we never had a problem with him being cold or hot. I invested in a velour-like crib sheet that helped a ton when it was cold outside.

2. We waited until Barrett was six months old to start infant cereal and baby food. We attempted infant cereal when he was four months old but his gag reflex was still going strong. When we tried again at six months, he was ready because it went down so easy and he hardly ever gagged. We waited until he was one year old to start whole milk and eggs. Supposedly, children are less prone to allergy problems if you wait until these particular ages to start certain foods. We still have not tried peanuts or seafood. I have nephews with severe allergy problems so I'm going to do everything in my power to not pass off this family trait to my son. I feel like they're going to have allergies if it's in their DNA but it won't hurt to postpone certain things, when they don't have a huge benefit. I basically just used Barrett as a guide to when he was ready for certain textrues/tastes. He'll definitely tell me if he's not ready for something.

1. I have child-proofed alot of my house, putting locks on the cabinets and plugs in the electric outlets. Not EVERYTHING in my house is child-proofed though. There are some cabinets that don't have locks. We locked mainly the ones with cleaners, medications, or with little items that he could swallow. Most exposed electric outlets have a plug in them.


So, I have ten reasons why I'm NOT the perfect mother and five reasons why I could be the perfect mother. You can weigh those results and see where I qualify ;). Obviously, I am not a perfect mother and yes I have guilt for doing some of the things that you are not "supposed" to do but all I can do is take it day by day. Being a mother is the hardest job in the world but is definitely the most rewarding. I am proud of my imperfections. In a society where we are obsessed with competition, this was a great reminder. No matter how hard we try, or how often we compare ourselves to others, no mother is perfect. Not my own mother, not my friends, not my relatives, not readers of this blog, and CERTAINLY not I. I applaud anyone else that is able to admit their flaws as mothers (and fathers too) but you're also able to give yourself credit for doing things "by the book"! However, who's to say what's right and wrong? When it comes to your child, only you are the judge of that.